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blue roofWell I'll be. In a couple of hours I will have the privilage of actually meeting with an adjuster. I have what we fondly call a blue roof on my other house. My Mom is staying there because she finds the rent affordable [ none], and she has no roof. Her house iwas remoldeled courtesy of Ike. His style is an open concept, completely open. The fema dude called it "a total loss". I call it a teardown and do-over.
The swift response of my insurance company is a delight. I was growing attached to my tarp roof. They are the trend down here. The stormWhat I learned during Ike...
You can sleep through a hurricane..
Life without power is not so bad after 2 weeks, and sheer will can restore it for a childs birthday.
Laundry can actually look dirtier after washed in a tub...
Coolers are the key to survival..
Martial law has nothing to do with karate...
Communal living is a true neighborhood..
Random outbursts of crying suck when done in public..
Dial-up is a joke..
MRE's are wonderful, but I suspect they have laxitive as a secret ingredient...
The stress during clean-up causes a variety of illnesses..
RecentlyAs of late, the twisted fates,
Have been playing with forces so great,
To create winds so strong as to belong,
In a class of their own, spun off Africa,
To travel so long with such dark intentions.
A misson believed by one woman,
Intentional malice to relieve her of glasses,
Ripped purposefully off her face by forces encountered,
Whilst trying to rescue wind turbins sent soaring,
From the roof that was clung to so profanly,
By the dear Mother of mine,albeit insanely.
Oh Ike, how could you? Take the precious eyewear,From roof clinging, swearing gran-mere?
So far to travel, so strong to grow,
Sweet mischief you did plan, upon the elder matron of our clan.
Your singular intention was surely noted.
I have oft heard references, then since quoted.
" That hurricane ripped the f***ing glasses right off of my face"
Mother.....OMFG! I have forgotten what it means to live painfully close to my family. Maybe it is a cruel trick Mother Nature plays on the subconscious. Liken to "forgetting" the pain of childbirth until your are in labor with the next baby. My Mom calls, my kiddo tells her I'm in the bathroom and she actually asks what I am doing in there....Take a SWAG. [swinging, wild-ass,quess] No need to knock, come on in and terrify everyone. If the door is locked, be sure to beat, rattle and yell until it opens. My sister has a red truck. This means she is capable of driving it to where I am sitting on my front patio to prevent excessive walking on her part. Back in the country, and within 5 miles of my "kin" ..egad, Mother Nature is a cruel bitch. But, for some reason my kid loves these weirdos so, I will adapt again to their 'oh so close' proximity. Plus the dog has really come into her own. It is exciting to be awoken to " Mom there is a snake in the house!!!" This eliminates the need for caffeine completely, but is it marketable?? Hummmm.... YikesI am friggin Moving. Sydney (my 10 year old) looked at the new diggs and gave it a thumbs up. I got it on her word, hell, her judgement is historically better than mine. The mover dude came though yesterday and commented ,' sure, you'll be ready?' Hell no! the comment caused any packing progression to come to a screaming halt. The last 24 hr bum rush is my specialty, and now he gets to deal with fully freaked out me, on friday...sassy pants.
Sydney's discription of house... kitchen floor everywhere= italian tile, funny polka dot wall= faux paint, no dishwasher= sure there is call her, Sydney maytag. *** land looks like a lovely soccer field and we can garden and there are beautiful trees= sold. *** BunniMy best friend got a new dog for me..[ not only reason for my long absence] She came from the pound and is an absolute trip. We think she is a Bischon Frise. 'Bunni' is the neatest creature.
I have never felt so attached to an animal. In thanks, she is attached to my bud. He did save her doggie life [ and mine by bringing her to me]. I never imagined it could be possible to conceive a dog with a gay man but stranger things have happened. Her Daddy is very important to her and she is one sad girl when he leaves her presence.
It is incredible how animals can love. I wish humanity would learn from their example....
DallasMy new job...
I am now using my Real Estate license again. If my Dallas friends need apartments, uptown lofts, condos or have any need for Real Estate services then check out my site.. http://apartmentmax.com/holly/
Thanks you guys and wish me luck with my new endeavor ( I'll need it!) TagattitudeHere in Dallas people are reluctant to own their mistakes. I was amazed in the amount of projection and denial. When I commented on this to another non-native he said there was a name for it "Dallastude" Wow, that a community this size has such an obvious flaw that out-of- towner's have named it, is remarkable.
Our community here in cyberland has a nameable affliction, Tagattitude. I have been busy this weekend and have no had time to reply properly to a tag. When I did, I noticed that people seemed dismayed or put out having to write the list. Or they whined about this task in their (bllaaahhhgg) blog.. I think this is pretentious. It has made me a lttle ill. Superior and elitist mindsets are transparent and annoying. I am pretty sure that people here love to have comments on their blog, friends to message and attention to their interests..If they didn't they could write in a spiral.
I was excited to play, the Tagattitude really blew it for me.
I have to go clean up my friends list now.
I can hang with phony people at the country club.
Help! I have been snagged, Tagged...I was tagged a la "Ranting Wonder"
Fame and fortune, mine soon to plunder
Please share in my delight
Relish the words of fabulous insight.
This request by Lady Raven's I must share
Unspectacular quirks, read on.... if you dare..
Rules the newly tagged must relate
To those they've given this similar fate
Precede this list of weird revealings
Disclosure of randomness not appealing.
Rules: The Newly Tagged should Follow
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks about yourself.
4. Tag 6 new bloggers you know and leave a link to them in your space.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blog letting them know they've been tagged.
Quirks exposed:
1. I think amphibians are really cool.
2. I hate carpet.
3. I am obsessed with my teeth, to extreme.
4. My closest friend says I am mean to men and he thinks I shouldn't date.
5. A close friend of mine runs gaydar on all my dates (and is overly opinionated regarding my treatment of the male gender).
6. I am most likely mean to men.
The lucky ones:
1.a. Margaret
2. Running Deer
3. dmg
4. Lilith
6. Snow Planetary Differences, (stay in your orbit unless invited)Now age has set in, putting me at my sexual prime when the men my age are flirting with Viagra and her sister Levitra. This causes me distress. It seems the universe is collectively twisted regarding women and men. Woman who claim to possess any ability to interpret uncanny male behavior or successful handling advice are in denial or off their meds..This is based in the fact that despite my experience in this realm, I have no idea what is going on in a man's head. Nor do I really want to. I am comfortable with the "smile, nod and feign agreement while hoping there in no way nonverbal communication has occurred. " method. This has been perfected through the years. I have two versions that are utilized regularly. A. Ignore all statements being made by male while judging him based solely on appearance. B. Ignore all statements while actively conceiving strategy to see him promptly naked and doing your bidding. I have been informed by the know it all sect, that this resembles male behavior/ thought processes. If it is, why does it work on men? Don't they recognize it? Jeez. I will break down some thought patterns that occur recently/ frequently while using method of choice (above). These will prove my theory..
1. "Was that my stomach growling? OMG he is still talking and looking at my boobs? Wonder what I can eat for lunch? Gawd , does he not realize that facial hair is played...Nah, his hair is spiky, yep hair jell. if he uses or even says 'product' I will instinctively run for my life. help, I am being talked to insanity by a guy that probably has a Member's Only jacket in his 'vette."
2. "WTF dude? are you not aware that you answered the door in boxers?? you are running words by me sporting underwear.. why am I drawn to look? eewww! gaping hole of weirdness is open some. I am now chaste, well today, but I am returning to non-chaste Tonite, Mr. Smell-good has a scheduled appearance...oh shit I wonder when boxer boy stopped talking. grin, thanks. haul butt, do not look again.."
3. "look at those lips.. they are like art in motion the way they slide over his teeth. cool, tongue made quick appearance. that shirt looks so soft, wonder if I touched it real sexy like if he would trip out?? nah, smiled and held eye contact when I touched it... wait huh, asking question..hellyeah I like it, I like the idea of it on my bedroom floor, lets ride, I want to show you something and get your opinion....I love how you smell, no cologne,yeah, I knew that hon.." The Mollusks among Us.I have a hobby. I am a mollusk murderer. It is more rewarding then it may sound. I have grown to despise and be completely revolted by these little plant destroyers. It is systematic, my murdering schedule. At night I waste perfectly good beer in small containers that the snails are attracted to, fall in , get drunk and drown. In the morning, after rejoicing over the evening's body count, I find stubborn non drinker snails and drown them in soapy water. This entails touching them which is starting to induce a slight gag reflex. After the hunt, I till up the dirt around my precious, innocent plants and find more, that are deluded enough to think they can hide and do away with them. I spread this white dirt around and search the patio for any more holdouts that I find hiding in a pot or the watering pitcher. Now I wait for the cycle of death to start again with the evening's beer wastage. I go to these great lengths for a piece of earth maybe 3ft by 8ft. Why? Because the d.o.g will eat snail bait and die, plus simple is never an option it seems. The nursery dude says they are out early. Woo Hooo! a whole long summer of this, man...life can't get any better. If I can keep my gag issue under control I may be a formidable foe. My neighbors just throw rocks down with little signs that say "I tried, they won", not me. I refuse to be defeated by a creature that is mainly composed of buggar-like matter. I am the superior being , I hope.
Highly Qualified= MESo, I'm on the hunt for a job teaching. I have all the certifications, degrees and 12 years experience. I run across the term "Highly Qualified" in reference to having documentation that YOU are this new status. This causes me to enter all out freak mode. (normal daily modality anyway, so lets say ultra freak mode) I find out it basically means qualified. Degree, certification, no big deal. I wonder how many pages of paper has been sent back and forth and how long it took our legislators to come up with the term and definitions....It falls under a new acronym, NCLB.(no child left behind) Well, I never left my kids behind, made sure everyone was on the bus after a field trip, accounted for after lunch and that they actually came back from the bathroom. I guess this was a problem, hence massive legislation. Wrong again it is more legislation of education by bureaucrats that can't even conceptualize what the actual classroom today is like. We have modifications for some kids(must document, get sued over this quite a bit), overcrowded rooms, teachers stressing out over mandated tests that dictate everything they teach, and sadly, our kids in an ever changing, "whats new today in education", philosophical environment. Well, I know that 1. The kids have more self-esteem than I do, so I will not constantly reward them for what are basic expectations. I think this fosters entitlement ideals in them. We were taught to do this when I went to college, really. 2. Teaching a test is a disservice to the student. Expressing this has cost me jobs. 3. Not all classes are capable of group work. That is probably self explanatory. 4. If a kid steals a book out of your library, that is good thing, do not be angry just explain that they are free to him/her forever. No sweat. 5. Administrators that are weak will bring your building down more effectively than an earthquake. 6. Kids know if you love and care about them, instinctively, and if you don't , will torture and make a teachers' year a living hell..7. Over legislation of education is a waste of time and money. It takes the creativity and freedoms a teacher has instructionally away, making school, BORING. For student and teacher. As for NCLB, maybe if some kids were left behind and not socially promoted, we would not have high school graduates on a 3rd grade reading level. Did say I wanted to get back into education??? Hummmmm.....Oh and this...Every 5 years, FYI: Re-register https://donotcall.gov/default.aspx
(threw that in to make up for bitchey blog) Love at First SmellNo, I'm sure ... it is not the cologne. Recently a tall handsome type passed me at a friends party. I mindlessly rose and walked after him in a zombie like fashion. Goofy grin in place I nudged my way, rudely, until I was face to face with Mr. Smellgood. In typical fashion I started running my mouth. I was in a trance, all senses occupied. He stood there and the part of my brain associated with vision relayed "kick ass he is laughing" I have a hard held self delusion, that I am immune to the effects of an attractive man. I remembered this when he got me peeking at his assets. I hung out with him until the end of the night. He asked for my number! I was 16 again, in the giddy silly way . But 40 in the X-rated fantasy involving he and I committing acts that would shock 98% of conventional society. Well, he came over yesterday and was an olfactory delight. We have plans, today and I hope to smell him soon. |
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THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED, ALL-AROUND BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TEST:
True or false? Score one point for each true answer.
1. THIS PERSON HAS ACHIEVED MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE HIS OR HER AGE.
2. THIS PERSON IS FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT HE OR SHE IS BETTER, SMARTER, OR MORE TALENTED THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
3. THIS PERSON LOVES COMPETITION, BUT IS A POOR LOSER.
4. THIS PERSON HAS FANTASIES OF DOING SOMETHING GREAT OR BEING FAMOUS, AND OFTEN EXPECTS TO BE TREATED AS IF THESE FANTASIES HAD ALREADY COME TRUE.
5. THIS PERSON HAS VERY LITTLE INTEREST IN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING OR FEELING, UNLESS HE OR SHE WANTS SOMETHING FROM THEM.
6. THIS PERSON IS A NAME DROPPER.
7. TO THIS PERSON IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO LIVE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND ASSOCIATE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
8. THIS PERSON TAKES ADVANTAGE OF OTHER PEOPLE TO ACHIEVE HIS OR HER OWN GOALS.
9. THIS PERSON USUALLY MANAGES TO BE IN A CATEGORY BY HIM OR HERSELF.
10. THIS PERSON OFTEN FEELS PUT UPON WHEN ASKED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITIES TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR WORK GROUP.
11. THIS PERSON REGULARLY DISREGARDS RULES OR EXPECTS THEM TO BE CHANGED BECAUSE HE OR SHE IS IN SOME WAY SPECIAL.
12. THIS PERSON BECOMES IRRITATED WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DON'T AUTOMATICALLY DO WHAT HE OR SHE WANTS THEM TO DO, EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR NOT COMPLYING.
13. THIS PERSON REVIEWS SPORTS, ART, AND LITERATURE BY TELLING YOU WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD.
14. THIS PERSON THINKS MOST CRITICISMS OF HIM OR HER ARE MOTIVATED BY JEALOUSY.
15. THIS PERSON REGARDS ANYTHING SHORT OF WORSHIP TO BE REJECTION.
16. THIS PERSON SUFFERS FROM A CONGENITAL INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE HIS OR HER OWN MISTAKES. ON THE RARE OCCASIONS THAT THIS PERSON DOES RECOGNIZE A MISTAKE, EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ERROR CAN PRECIPITATE A MAJOR DEPRESSION.
17. THIS PERSON OFTEN EXPLAINS WHY PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER KNOWN THAN HE OR SHE IS NOT REALLY ALL THAT GREAT.
18. THIS PERSON OFTEN COMPLAINS OF BEING MISTREATED OR MISUNDERSTOOD.
19. PEOPLE EITHER LOVE OR HATE THIS PERSON.
20. DESPITE THIS PERSON'S OVERLY HIGH OPINION OF HIM OR HERSELF, HE OR SHE IS REALLY QUITE INTELLIGENT AND TALENTED.
Scoring: Five or more true answers qualifies the person as a Narcissistic Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality. If the person scores higher than ten, and is not a member of the royal family, be careful that you aren't mistaken for one of the servants.
By ALBERT J. BERNSTEIN, Ph.D.
The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are: (don't try this at home, folks):
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of the following:
1. a grandiose sense of self-importance 2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes
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